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Fun / Humor

What the Professor Says vs. What the Professr Means

What the Professor says.
What the Professor means.
Tell me what you like to be called. Who are you?
How do you spell your name? Who are you?
Please follow these guidelines and you'll do fine in this class. Don't cross me you maggots.
We will be using one of the leading textbooks in the field. We will be using my textbook.
The gist of the theoretical framework is what's most important. I don't understand the details either.
Most scholars believe that . . . I believe that . . .
Ask me that question in another way. Try being coherent this time.
There are no stupid questions. But there are stupid students.
You'll have to see me during office hours for analysis of that issue. I don't have a clue.
That issue is beyond the scope of this class. I really don't have a clue.
Today we are going to discuss a critical research topic. Today we are going to discuss one of my articles.
Unfortunately, we don't have the time to study all the scholars who have made contributions in this area. We will not be covering the work of people whose ideas differ from mine.
We can continue this discussion at another time. This has nothing to do with anything you moron.
We can continue this discussion at another time. Ok, you win.
We can continue this discussion at another time. I have nothing else to say about this topic.
Today we'll let a member of the class lead the discussion. I was busy revising an article and didn't prepare for class.
What did Piaget say on this point? Did anyone do the assigned reading?
That's an interesting point of view. What incredible nonsense.
You think so? I don't.
The implications of this study are clear I don't know what it means either, but there'll be a question about it on the test.
The test will be primarily multiple choice questions. The test will be 60 multiple choice questions, 30 true-false items, 15 fill-in-the blanks, 10 short-answer, and three essays.
Keep in mind that this was a challenging exam No one scored above a C-.
The test scores were a little below my expectations. No one is going to accuse me of grade inflation this term.
I'll certainly give that some consideration. Not a chance.
I'm sorry about your grandmother. Wait till you see the make-up exam.
Any further questions? I'm ready to go.
It's been very rewarding to teach this class. I hope they find someone else to teach it next term.
You should probably get a reference letter from someone who's had you in more than one class. Who are you?